Today, I’m not feeling particularly inspired. I’d like to crawl back into bed and sleep. I feel like I could sleep for days. Instead, I’m trudging zombie-like through my day. I will accomplish what urgently needs to get done but not much more. I will not change the world today. Today is a day for doing, muddling through, getting by.
Everyone has these days. They are normal. They might look different on your spin-class instructor friend (on her off day, she will still teach 5 back to back spin classes but she might not turn the resistance up that high – how are you to know?) but it’s still a drudge day.
I will take my shoes off today (they are slipping off anyway – stupid nylons) but not for clarity or connection. Today, I will take them off so that I can tuck my stockinged feet underneath me on the chair and, when I finally get home, on the couch. I will drink a hot milo and bask in the glow of our flickering 45cm TV (yes, it’s small but the 19 year old does it’s job admirably). I will cook something unremarkable for dinner. I might wash a load of laundry, but I doubt it. I will shuffle around the house in ugg boots and expend as little effort as possible. I will go to bed early.
I will not revise my to do list, think about our house renovation, do any non-essential cleaning, answer late night work emails, work on stories, paint my toenails or write a revised version of Hamlet for 8-year olds. Tonight, I will let my brain switch off.
I give myself permission to not think. No thinking, no contemplating, no planning and no lists. Today, it’s is ok for me to be undriven, unmotivated, uninterested and unenergetic. These are things I would usually feel inordinately guilty about but today it’s ok because I’ve given myself permission.
If you need to, give yourself permission to stop – just for a day – and be.