Before I start…I’m sorry. No posting since October – shocking self-discipline.
I haven’t taken my shoes off recently; I haven’t done any barefoot thinking and my feet stink. My brain stinks. It’s been ‘getting it done’ and festering in administrative slop. It hasn’t thought for itself for a few months and the end result is a cracking migraine and an upset stomach. I’ve done this to myself. I know it needs space and light and time to stretch itself but I’ve overcommitted to the little things and locked it inside a box full of boring. I have not achieved balance and my brain hurts – literally.
As I type, painkillers are working their way to where ever they go to ease what I can safely predict is a two day migraine. The signs are all there – nausea, light sensitivity, dizziness – and I’m powerless to stop it. It’s not a good time. We’re halfway through an office move (that I’m coordinating), it’s a week and a half to Christmas, our apartment renovation is nearing its final stages, I’m applying to further post-grad study and I’m about to be rendered useless in four hours time.
I’m not sure if its the headache or painkillers but my hands have started to shake as I type. Overall, this is not a good situation. I know it’s dramatic but at the present moment, it feels like the world is caving in on me – a carefully constructed, teetering tower of to-do lists and positivity and ‘yes, I can do that’ and a dose of procrastination to hold it all together (or shove it closer to the cliff’s edge)…anyway, the boxes are rocking in the wind and I’m about to get crushed. And I want to let them crush me. I want to crawl under my desk and take a long nap.
It’s time to make a Christmas resolution:
Alright, now it’s your turn. What’s your Christmas resolution?