Twitter is Porn

“One man’s Twitter is another man’s porn.”

My husband does not use Twitter; he only recently deigned to get a Facebook page after realising it was actually a useful way to reconnect with friends from overseas (but offered no apology for the years of abuse rained on me for using Facebook…I took the sheepish silence when I ignored his friend request as his serving of humble-pie.*)

Still, while a Facebook convert (sortof – in it’s most basic capacity as a communication and photo distribution tool), he doesn’t ‘get’ Twitter.  He’s not the most loquacious at the best of times, so a constant stream of consciousness from relative strangers – not really his thing (note: he gets annoyed by friends’ status updates on Facebook. “Why do I need to know when someone’s eating a sandwich or needs to pee? Take the time to pee that you would otherwise use to update your FB status.” Good point.)

So this morning he said to me:

“One man’s Twitter is another man’s porn.”

What I think he was trying to say was:

“One man’s porn is another (wo)man’s Twitter.”

Because I just don’t get porn.  Which is what we were discussing while making the bed this morning.  Time to qualify – we’re not talking anything illegal (though it depends on your definition, country of readership, religious affiliation…but just generally) – I’m talking swimsuit calendars or Playboy or…ok, you get the idea.  But I don’t…I just don’t really ‘get’ it.  More specifically, the need to circulate it…via email…daily. That’s what they do, this club of ‘gentlemen’ otherwise known as my husband’s friends.

It comes from somewhere, someone, from the deep dark nether-regions of the internet and arrives in one clubmember’s inbox and so, as is their duty, they hit forward. And so on and so forth – each has a distribution list and they always make sure that if they have mutual friends, they delete off that email address, because if you’ve seen it once, there’s no point in seeing it twice (this is an actual unspoken ‘rule’)…which begs the question…why look at it in the first place?

Now, they can’t do anything about receiving them –  like those imbecilic emails my grandmother sends me promising good luck if I forward it on to 400 of my closest friends…the ones full of internet voodoo and bad karma to those who delete without opening or don’t forward on…but as for the rude emails, why forward them?

Because one man’s porn is another man’s Twitter.

We all connect in different ways; for my husband, forwarding on some rude emails is part of ‘being mates’, having a laugh and staying connected.  Twitter is the same for me…so I guess he’s right.

Twitter is porn (or something like it…)

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